I bought fruitbasket16 today and saw geraldine cheng. she is so skinny now.Anyway i met cheryl too in whitesands. I thought i will be happy at first if i met her, but this meeting prove it wrong. Its not that i dun wanna see her. But once i saw her, a feeling overcome me. One that i am afraid of. The moment she spoke her first word, i suddenly felt that she does not treat me as a special fren anymore. Instead i felt that she treat me as one normal fren. it broke my heart. I saw her and her fren together laughing merrily and i admit i was kinda jealous. Bu that was not the problem. It was that horrifying feeling. My heart shattered into pieces like that time zoey lee decided not to be my fren and my good brother went away. it was so painful that i cried silently in my heart.

I hope cheryl will tell me that i am just being suspicious but if she really feel for me like a normal fren, i will hope for her to find the one that really is her bosom fren in anglican. I hope that she is happy and thats all. When she talk to me at bus395. I was actually thinking about this matter. I can only smile weakly at her as she told me her life. But i somehow felt a distance although we are sitting together. I cried in the bathroom sadly. I hope this post will not affect my frenship with her even if she really thinks that i am now only a normal fren to her. I hope she will tell me the truth and the only thing i can say here is that no matter wad happens, she will always be my bestest best fren.

I believe in fate and destinies becuase without fate and destiny, there will be no such thing as miracle. So if one day she forget about me, I will always silently think of her in my heart. Maybe thats my destiny.